She'd been working with this client for three weeks and nothing felt right.
The advisor had sent detailed planning emails—organized, thorough, well-formatted. Her client responded with one-line texts. She'd asked open questions about preferences; the client had answered with yes or no. She'd sent a three-option proposal document; the client had replied: "Just pick the best one."
The advisor came to me convinced she'd done something wrong. She hadn't. She'd just been speaking the wrong language.
Not every client wants the same thing from you. Some want to feel in control of every detail. Some want to feel taken care of and prefer you make decisions for them. Some communicate best by voice, others by text, others by formal email. The advisors who build genuinely loyal client bases—the ones who get referrals without asking—have figured out how to read what each person needs and adapt accordingly.
This is a skill. And like most skills, it starts with knowing what you're looking for.
You don't have to wait weeks to understand how a client communicates. The signals are usually visible in the first interaction.
How did they reach out to you initially? A client who calls is different from one who fills out a detailed inquiry form, who is different from one who sends a quick DM. Their first medium is usually their preferred medium.
How long are their messages? Short, punchy communicators want short, punchy responses. Long, detailed writers usually want detail back. Matching their communication density is one of the fastest ways to make someone feel understood.
What questions do they ask first? Detail-oriented clients ask about logistics early: What are the exact travel dates? What's included? What if X happens? Feeling-oriented clients ask about experience: What's the vibe? Will we feel rushed? Is this romantic enough?
Those early signals tell you a lot about what the client values and how they process information. Pay attention to them.
In broad strokes, most clients fall into one of four patterns. (Real people are combinations of these, but recognizing the dominant pattern is useful.)
The Director. Wants efficiency. Doesn't want to be walked through options—they want your recommendation and your reasoning, briefly stated. Long emails feel like homework. Decisions should be clear and fast. The best thing you can do for a Director: lead with the answer, then offer the reasoning only if they ask.
The Processor. Wants information. Needs to feel in control through knowledge. They'll read every line of your proposal, research the hotel independently, and come back with follow-up questions. Long emails are a feature, not a bug. The best thing you can do for a Processor: be thorough, be organized, and never make them feel like they're asking too many questions.
The Feeler. Wants connection. They're not just booking a trip—they're sharing a dream with you. They want to feel heard, not just served. They respond well to warmth, to remembering personal details, to language that reflects their emotional state. The best thing you can do for a Feeler: reflect their language back to them. "I can tell this trip is about more than the anniversary—it's about reconnecting." That sentence does more than any itinerary detail.
The Delegator. Wants to not think about it. They hired you precisely because they don't want to make decisions. Too many options feel like a burden. Too much information feels like work. The best thing you can do for a Delegator: make confident recommendations without asking for sign-off on every choice. "I've booked you into [specific thing] because [one-line reason]. I know you'll love it." Then move on.
A common worry when this comes up: "But I have a communication style. Am I supposed to just abandon it for every client?"
No. Adapting to clients doesn't mean becoming a different person. It means adjusting your format and register without changing your values or your expertise.
You can still be thorough if you're a detail-oriented advisor—but for a Director client, you put the conclusion first and the detail behind it. You can still be warm if warmth is part of how you work—but for a Processor client, you express that warmth briefly and then give them the information they actually came for.
The goal isn't to mirror the client perfectly. It's to remove friction. Every communication style mismatch creates a small amount of resistance. That resistance accumulates. Over a trip-planning cycle, it can be the difference between a client who's a pleasure to work with and one who feels like constant work.
If you're not sure how a client wants to communicate, ask them.
"I work with clients in a few different ways depending on their preference—some like detailed emails with all the options, others prefer I make recommendations and bring them in for final decisions. What feels right to you?"
Most clients have never been asked this by a service provider. The question itself builds trust. And the answer gives you everything you need to design the working relationship intentionally instead of stumbling into it.
Communication style isn't a soft skill. It's the thing that determines whether a client books again, refers you to friends, and leaves reviews that say "she just gets it."
What communication style do most of your best clients share—and is that a coincidence, or have you been naturally selecting for it?